HELP!? How do I Pray?

There is a great and common problem amidst Protestant churches today, and that problem is this: we simply don't know how to pray. We know that we ought to pray, but we simply don't know how. If only there was a passage of scripture which spoke specifically about this topic...

In Matthew 6:9-13, we find recorded for us what is often referred to as The Lord's Prayer. This prayer, given by our Lord during his Sermon on the Mount, was and is still meant to be used as a model for prayer. Before he recited the prayer, Christ admonishes us to "pray then like this." Thus, the Lord in these verses answers the simple questions which we as ourselves every day: How am I supposed to pray?

If one were to study diligently the Lord's prayer, he would find that within it there are five simple petitions. Though some argue there are six or even seven, I would argue the one can simply summarize all of our Lord's petitions into five*: a petition for praise, a petition for progress, a petition for provision, a petition for pardon, and last, but certainly not least, a petition for protection. The first two petitions deal with God and his glory, the second three with man and his need, which we will look at below.

Address: However, we must start with the address of The Lord's Prayer: "Our Father in Heaven." Here, let us observe both what both what is said and what is not said. Firstly, we note that we come to God in prayer as Father. Although he is our creator, our Lord, our Savior, and our friend, we come to him in prayer first and foremost as our Father who is tender to our requests. This "father" address points to God's love and care for his children who are going to him with their wants and desires. Yet, we find quickly that we are not merely going to our father, as we might go to our father in this world for our requests, but to our Heavenly Father. In our prayers, we come not to a God who is unknowledgeable of our requests or insufficient to fulfill them, but a God who's presence fills every corner of heaven and who's power is unfathomably beyond all comparison. Thus we find that here in this simple address, we come to God as both transcendent (that is, powerful and above this world) and immanent (that is, caring, concerning, and close to us as his children), or as Arthur Pink points out, as both good and great.

Petition #1: Praise / Adoration / God as Source: "Hallowed be thy name."

Here we find the first petition of our Lord's prayer. Note that we start out with not a petition for our needs, but a petition for God's glory. In our prayers, it is perfectly acceptable to bring to God our wants, desires, and needs, for if prayer was without these, what would be the point? Yet let us realize that according to the Lord's prayer, this is never where we start. Although we as Christians do desire, and even desire greatly, the Lord's provision, pardon, and protection, we first and foremost ought to desire the Lord's glory and praise. If we do not start here, our priorities are messed up, and thus so will be our prayers.

In his sermon series on The Lord's Prayer from the Gospel of Luke, John MacArthur points out here that "prayer is not about us, but about God." Perhaps this is the greatest thing we can learn from this first petition. Often, we go to God for us rather than for him. Yet, this first petition gets our priorities straight: we are not praying for our glory, but for God's.

Yet let us discuss what it means for the Lord's name to be "hallowed," as this is not a common term in today's language. In the original Greek, the term has close ties to the words "sanctified, set apart, saint." Thus, to hallow the Lord's name is to honor it as holy, to set it apart as sacred, and to consider it as worthy as it truly is. Another translation of the text could be "reverenced be your reputation." This is what we pray to happen in our lives, in our cities, and in our world: that God's reputation might be set apart as holy, that God's name might be praised in the hearts of men, and that his glory would spring forth from his creation.

Petition #2: Progress / Submission / God as Sovereign and Superior:

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

The second petition we ought to make to God in our prayers is once again not for us and our need, but for God and his glory. This petition is a petition for progress, that God's kingdom might come, his will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. This petition carries along with it an implication that we find throughout all of scripture: that in this world, God's will is often not done. Now when we speak of God's "will" here, we speak of his revealed or moral will, not his secretive or hidden will. God's secretive will will always be done, for his secretive will is the sovereign decree that is behind all happenings in this world (see Deut. 29:29). Yet here we find a petition for God's revealed or moral will to happen, just as it is obeyed perfectly in heaven, even so on earth. This petition goes to God and says, "I see the corruption of the world and even in my own heart, and I am praying now that your kingdom would be set up here, that your commands would be obeyed and your rules followed!" Another way to translate this petition would be this: "Your reign arrive; your desire be happening, as in the heavenly realms even so on this earth."

Yet what does this look like, practically? In his book The Lord's Prayer, Arthur Pink points out how we can pray for God's kingdom to come in three ways. Firstly, we can pray for God's internal kingdom to come, or in other words, to pray for our own sanctification. When we pray this prayer we submit to God's will, asking that it be done in our lives, whether we like it or not. Secondly, we can pray for God's external kingdom to come, or in other words, to pray for the salvation and sanctification of others. Here, we pray for our neighbors, friends, and coworkers to know Christ and to know him more. Lastly, we can pray for God's future kingdom, that is, his second coming. Here, we ask the Lord to come again so that he might destroy the wickedness and evil in this world and set up his eternal reign.

Petition #3: Provision / Petition / God as Supporter: "Give us this day our daily bread"

In this third petition, we turn from praying for God and his glory to man and his need. Once we have petitioned for God's name to be hallowed, his kingdom to come, and his will to be done, then, and only then, can we make supplications for ourselves. For if we ask for the Lord to supply our need first, will we not merely go to him as a tool rather than a Father? Thus, we find the importance of the first two petitions before the second three.

Yet before we discuss this petition in full, let us point out another great lesson from this Lord's prayer: when we pray for the things of God, we pray lavishly. We do not pray that he gets momentary glory or temporary fame, but that he gets his deserved praise--praise that is far beyond what we can ever accomplish of ourselves. Furthermore, we pray not for his kingdom to come in one area, but in all areas, and for his will to be done just as perfectly on earth as it is in heaven. Yet when we turn to man and his need, we do not pray lavishly, but we merely pray for what is necessary. Why? Because, as stated above, our prayers are not ultimately about us, but about God! Ought we to be thankful when the Lord supplies us with a pantry full of food, a luxurious roof over our heads, and a large number in our bank accounts? Yes! But we do not pray for these things. We simply pray that the Lord give us what is necessary to bring glory to his name, whether that means riches or famine (see Agur's words in Prov. 30:7-9).

Thus, we pray for the Lord to give us what is needful in the body to glorify him and him alone. Within this petition includes prayers for anything that is necessary for us to bring glory to our Lord. Most notably, we pray for food that we might remain in the body in order to do his work! Yet here we might also pray for clothing, shelter, and, of course, physical healing for both us and others. Yet in prayer for all of these things, let us diligently point out that God is the source of all that we need. Every day you wake up with clothing on your back and food on your table is an answered prayer from your Heavenly Father!

Petition #4: Pardon / Confession / God as Savior:

"And forgive us of our debts, as we have forgiven or debtors."

Here we find perhaps the sweetest petition which we can make to our Lord. You see, man not only needs physical provision, we also need spiritual pardon. Yet, one might ask, why must I pray for forgiveness, for has God not already forgiven us of all our debts in Christ? For surely he has--yes and amen. But let me ask you in reply: what earthly father does not desire for his child to come to him confessing his iniquity, though his father perhaps has already forgiven him in his heart? Does the earthly father not desire for his child to realize his sin and seek to be forgiven of it, in order to restore the relationship? Likewise is our relationship to God. Have we received "once and for all" forgiveness in Christ's blood? Yes and amen. Have our sins been turned from scarlet to the whiteness of snow (Is. 1:18) and our spiritual bodies been baptized and washed from its iniquities? Yes and amen. Yet, our feet will still get dirty and need to be washed on the way, as Peter found out in the Upper Room. For did our Lord say to him: "The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean." (John 13:10)? For this reality is the same of us: though our bodies have been washed, we go to God daily that he might once again cleanse our feet from the mud and dirt of our daily sins which we have committed.

Yet it is most popularly not the first part of this petition in which men are often confounded, but the second. Here we find the Lord's teaching that we will not receive forgiveness of God unless we have forgiven those who have indebted us, further explained by Matthew 6:14-15. Let us note two things about this passage that might clarify our understanding of it. Firstly, it is the nature of a Christian to forgive, and thus this verse should not be a problem for us if we simply obey God's commands. Ephesians 4:32 commands us clearly to forgive those, just as Christ has forgiven us (that is, to the fullest extent possible with no ulterior motive apart from sacrificial love), and the parable of the unforgiving servant shows us what judgment comes to those whom God has forgiven who does not, in turn, forgive those who have indebted him (see Matthew 18:21-35). For the statement is very true that "we forgive because we've been forgiven." In reality, an unforgiving Christian is an oxymoron--it simply does not exist. Secondly, let us realize, though we often don't like to admit it, that our prayers can be hindered by our unrepentant sins. Although the Lord is sovereign and always hears his children, he refuses to answer the prayer of one who is walking in unrepentant sin (see Is. 1:15, 1 Pet. 1:7). Does James not teach us the contrary truth, that he who is righteous will have effective prayer (Ja. 5:16)? Thus we conclude that if we expect our prayers to be answered, we must not be having continual patterns of unrepentant sins in our lives, specifically in the area of bitterness and unforgiveness. To ask God for forgiveness without forgiving others who have indebted us is simply the epitome of hypocrisy.

Petition #5: Protection / Aspiration / God as Shelter:

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

Here we find our fifth and final petition which appeals to the final need of man. We as men need not only physical provision and spiritual pardon--we also need moral protection (MacArthur). Now, let us notice that many Christians get tripped up by this petition as well. They ask, "Why ought I to pray that God not lead me into temptation? For in James 1:13 I am told that God would never do such a thing!" In response to this, let me ask of you another question, and that is this: is it wrong to pray for something which God has already promised? Furthermore, is this not what we have already done? In consideration of the hallowing of God's name, is God not the one who has declared that his name will be hallowed among men in the final day, when all knees bow and tongues confess that he is Lord (Phil. 2:10-11)? Furthermore, does not the Lord promise that his kingdom will eventually come on this earth (Is. 2:2)? And was it not the psalmist who was both young and old, yet had never seen the children of the righteous lacking bread (Ps. 37:5)? And was it not the apostle John who told us in his marvelous epistle that if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)? Thus we find that it is not only the last petition which the Lord promises to us, but all of them, and that this does not make our prayers vain, but rather provides the foundation for which they can stand upon. For our heavenly father knows our needs far before we ask him of them (Matt. 6:8).

Furthermore, dear child of God, if you are confused by this petition, let me ask you this: have you ever bowed a knee to the Lord in the time of your temptation? Dear child of God, what great comfort is it of us to know that amidst our deepest times of pain, we can call out humbly to our Father to rescue us from the evil that surrounds! Yet, in a deeper sense, what are the levels of this prayer? Arthur Pink points out that in its most obvious sense, this prayer is a prayer asking the Lord to simply cast out from us any temptation that might lead us to sin. Although being tempted in itself is not sin, why would we not want to pray for the absence of temptation so that we could be one more step away from sinning? Next, Pink points out how this prayer, at a deeper level, asks of the Lord to strengthen us in times of temptation. If the Lord, in his own sovereignty and love, does allow the devil to tempt us, this prayer asks of the Lord to deliver us from falling into that temptation. Lastly, Pink points out that this prayer can also be a petition for our sin not to overcome us. Each one of us knows that we daily fall into temptation, sometimes even unknowingly (Ps. 19:12). Yet this prayer asks of the Lord to not have these sins rule over us. Though we may gossip, though we may lust, though we may dishonor our parents, this prayer causes us to go to God and ask dearly that we might put these sins away that we might not be disqualified from doing the Lord's work. What a humble prayer! What a gracious God!

In conclusion, let me give you some practical steps to applying this prayer to your life. It is one thing to know the theology of the prayer, as discussed above, but it is another thing to apply it.

If we read the account of The Lord's Prayer rightly, both in the Matthew and Luke accounts, we find two things: Firstly, that this prayer is a model, not a formula. To recite The Lord's Prayer is great, but there is a deeper use of it if we look at it as a model to form all of our prayers around. Secondly, this prayer, or at least the model that it teaches, ought to be prayed daily. Thus, I've found it extremely helpful in my own life to pray through these petitions each and every day. For me, that looks like spending time each Monday morning asking myself some prayer-oriented questions as well asking others how I can pray for them. I've typed up these questions, and the entire model of prayer listed above, in a Word document that you can download here:

The Lord's Prayer Weekly Worksheet.docx

Download DOCX • 21KB

I encourage you to spend an hour each week filling this out, being guided by other scriptures that come to mind, that your prayer life might be modeled around God and his truth rather than your own desires.

Yet, let me end this entire post on this note: don't let your prayers become static. For me, the worksheet above helps me to not be static, but perhaps it could work in the other direction for some. J. C. Ryle, in his book Do You Pray?, encourages his readers to "be 'spiritual' in your prayers. . . .We should always call upon the Holy Spirit to help us in our prayers. We must beware of mere formality and saying our prayers without thinking. It is quite possible to get into the habit of prayer with words that sound spiritual. . .yet, in reality, they are an empty shell. . .like an airplane on autopilot."

Now, go and pray likewise.

Bibliography -- Although it would be impossible for me to cite with accuracy where each of the above insights were taken, know that many, if not most, were not my own. Much of the above material was gleaned from Tim Keller's sermon series on the Lord's Prayer. John MacArthur's sermon series on The Lord's Prayer from the Gospel of Luke, and Arthur W. Pink's Book The Beatitudes and the Lord's Prayer.

*Most theologians agree that the final two phrases of the Lord's prayer ("And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.") are one petition, the first part giving the negative side of the petition, and the second side giving the positive side of the petition. Furthermore, the greek construction of the text supports this idea as well. However, if we agree with this combination, we are still left with six petitions, which is where many theologians stand. However, I argue that "your kingdom come, your will be done" is one petition put into two different wordings. I argue this based on two reasons. Firstly, if one reads the Bible rightly, it is impossible to separate God's kingdom coming with the accomplishing of his will. In other words, for God's kingdom to come is for God's will to be done, and vice versa. Secondly, in the abbreviated version of the Lord's prayer found in Luke 11:1-4, Luke does not record both of these phrases, but only the first: "Your kingdom come." If we resolve that the prayer recorded in Luke 11 is a similar yet abbreviated version of the prayer in Matthew 6, we would have to conclude that the reason why Luke does not include the second part of the petition is that he believes that the second part is a repetition of the first and thus is helpful, but not necessary. This argument works similarly for the final petition of the prayer as well, as Luke does not record the phrase "deliver us from evil," but only "lead us not into temptation."